Bam's Dirty Little Secret
by OriginalPippie
Summary: Exactly as the title says, Bam's been keeping a secret from everyone.
1. Prologue

_Note: I am not now, nor have I ever been a HIM fan. I just know a few things about the band and I have a great imagination._

Prologue

"Are you fucking serious?" Bam asked, his voice cracking  
"That's right baby. I can't believe you didn't know all ready."

Bam's mouth dropped open and he stared at the floor of the car. He was in a state of complete shock and felt utterly betrayed. He didn't look up once a kind hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Bam Bam relax. I really thought that you knew. I'm terribly sorry."  
Bam tried to speak but nothing came out…

Secrets.  
Dirty secrets.  
Dirty secrets… and lies.

That had become the basis of Bam's adult life. He knew that no one would ever understand this one side of him, which is why he never brought any one into this part of his world. He would give them subtle clues to this whole other persona of his, but he never dared to come out and tell any one the truth.


	2. Chapter 1

_Note: I am not now, nor have I ever been a HIM fan. I just know a few things about the band and I have a great imagination._

Chapter one

Bam peeked around the dark corner and then pulled his hood over his head. He adjusted his dark sunglasses and made sure that he had his car keys. He then picked up his shoes and carried them in one hand as he slowly crept over to the front door. Taking one last quick glance over his shoulders, he made sure that no one had heard him sneak downstairs. Knowing that he was in the clear he walked outside, slipped on his shoes, and got into his car to drive off into the night.

Forty-five minutes later…

Bam pulled his car into the parking lot and shut the engine off. He got out and locked the car and then he began to walk along the sidewalk towards the party a couple blocks away. Once he made it to the two-storey house, he smiled to himself and hopped up the concrete steps. Before ringing the doorbell he removed his hooded sweatshirt and balled it up under his arm. A couple seconds later the door opened and Bam was greeted by a familiar, smiling face.

"Bam Bam! You made it!" She said with a little squeal. She reached one arm behind his neck and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek

She was a petite woman, normally standing just at Bam's chin. Her dark brown hair was streaked bright pink and done up in curled, flat spikes that resembled flames. Her bangs came down and separated in the center. They stuck to her forehead and were curved inward, looking like devil horns what were pushed down and flattened. Her gothic makeup gave her the appearance of some sort of dark immortal creature of the underworld: blood red lipstick with black lipstick in the middle of her lips and black lip-liner, the same shade of red eyeliner around the bottom edge of her bright aqua eyes with black eye shadow on her lids, and black and silver eye shadow up higher following the curve of her eyebrows, coming out into a smooth point past the brow. She wore a black mini-dress that came to just above her knees in blue, red and deep purple flame-shaped fringes. The long sleeves hung over her hands with the same flame-like fringes. On her feet she wore laced, black leather ankle boots with a thick four inch heel. The heel brought her height up to where she would reach Bam's nose.

"Nice to see you again, Hellen." He said with a smile as he stepped inside the doorway  
"Likewise." Her voice was deeper than the previous squeal. "Here let me take your sweatshirt and I'll hang it on its usual hook. You just say hello to everyone and… well you know the drill." She smirked with a wink before turning away from Bam with his sweatshirt

Bam entered the house further and closed the door. He reached up with one hand and removed his sunglasses, revealing his eye makeup. He wore purple eyeliner and aqua eye shadow that matched the color of Hellen's eyes perfectly, and thick black fake eyelashes. His all black outfit showed off his trim form nicely. Around his neck he wore a black satin choker with black roses printed on it. Clipped to the collar of his shirt was a small blinking pink light. His semi-sheer black top clung to his upper body and bore a soft velvet pattern that imitated the sleeve tattoo on Ville Valo's left arm.

The house was full of people that were all in black clothing, and most of them were wearing garish gothic makeup. Some wore wigs or other accessories that made them stand out a little bit in the sea of black. Bam recognized a bunch of the usual people, as well as a few unsure newbies grouped together against the wall away from everyone else. He smiled and gave the newbies a wave as he walked past them. Two arms wrapped around his neck and a pair of lips ran across his mouth. She pulled away and looked into his eyes with a broad smile. She had bright, long, straight purple hair and a day-glow green plastic headband upon her head. The headband had two green stars attached to bobbing springs. The only makeup that she wore was soft pink lip-liner.

"Bam Bam!"  
"Hey Sandra! How have you been?"  
"Great. You been here long?"  
"No I just got here."  
"Oh! Then let me get you a drink!"

Sandra took Bam by the hand and dragged him over to the bar. There were margarita glasses lined up on one end of the bar, and Sandra picked one up and filled it with a fruity daiquiri. She handed the glass to Bam with a smile.

"There you are!"  
"Thanks." He said before taking a sip of the daiquiri  
"Meet me in the Gas Lipstick room in a little bit." She whispered in his ear before walking away

Bam walked around the lower level of the house drinking his daiquiri and taking everything in. The general décor of the house (Which belonged to Hellen) was dark colors and heartagrams. There were HIM posters hung sparingly on the walls throughout the house and the stereo was set up so the same HIM song could be heard playing in every room. Each room in the house had a different theme and was named after either a band member or one of HIM's album titles. The house seemed to be a sort of house of worship for the fans of the band.

The party, which was hosted by Hellen, was for the die-hard HIM fans to celebrate their undying love for the band and for each other. These parties, thought part of the underground society, had become notorious and were held once a month at Hellen's beautiful home. Each party was the same, but had a different dress code each month. The dress code for this month's party was black clothing. The guests didn't have to wear black from head to tow like most were wearing, but black had to make up the majority of their outfit. It was these parties that Bam had been secretly going to ever since he discovered the band. At these parties he wasn't known as the professional skateboarder, the former Jackass who had his own show. In fact none of the guests were the people they normally were during the day at these parties. Everyone was able to relax and let loose, breaking free from their every-day personas. The best part was, no one outside the house even knew about these parties. This had been a well kept secret amongst HIM fans around the world since the band had formed. (There were many party hosts around the world, including a few in America, but Hellen's house was the only HIM party house located in Pennsylvania. Which is what made her parties so special to those who attended.)

Right as Bam finished his daiquiri, the song "Beautiful" began to play. He sat his empty glass and headed upstairs to the Gas Lipstick room to meet Sandra.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Bam reached the top of the stairs and turned down the hallway to the last bedroom on the left. He knocked on the door and a moment later someone opened it. He was a large guy that could have been Hank from hell's brother. (Except this guy's eyes weren't scary looking without make up) He wore black baggy jeans and a long black trench coat. His make up was similar to Hank from Hell's make up; only the lipstick and eye make-up colors were reversed. He leaned against the doorframe with his arm stretched out to block the entrance way.  
"May I help you?" he asked in a creepy butler voice (Not unlike Riff Raff's voice from The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Bam smiled "Hi Jord! I didn't expect to see you here. I heard that you were sick."  
"I was, and I got over it. So, what can I, tonight's Gas Lipstick room's doorman, do for you?"  
"Is Sandra in there? She asked me to come see her."  
"Yes she is. But I can't let you in there."  
"Why not?"  
Jord reached into a pocket of his trench coat and pulled out a small liquid-filled bottle "You haven't had your drop yet."  
Bam laughed in relief "Oh! Ok, well give it to me." Bam opened his mouth and held out his tongue

Jord unscrewed the eye dropper-cap and filled it up. He held the eye dropper over Bam's tongue and dropped a single drop of acid onto it.

"There you go." He said as he stepped away from the door "Enjoy the Gas Lipstick room."

Bam entered the room and Jord closed the door behind them. The room was painted deep purple and had very little furniture in it. There was an antique rug in the middle of the room, and a padded vinyl couch against the far wall. The couch had been made where the cushions were lowered so the people sitting on it could be closer to the floor. There was a table set up on the other side of the room with a display of sex toys on it. The room was lit up by black lights and a couple lava lamps. On the walls were HIM and Nightmare Before Christmas posters that glowed brightly under the black light.

Sandra sat alone on the couch with a few people on the floor around it making out. Bam walked over to the couch and sat down next to her, placing his arm around her. He pulled her into a kiss without saying a word. Bam eased his way onto her neck, sucking it a little as he kissed. He held one hand behind her head and his other hand was moving up her inner thigh. He slowly moved his mouth off of her neck and down toward the cleavage area above her shirt. He then pulled back, keeping his eyes on her chest, and slid his fingers under the straps of her tank top, pushing them down off of her shoulders. He nuzzled and gently kissed her bare shoulders, down to the top of her chest. Grabbing the top of her shirt with his teeth he pulled part of her shirt down until one of her breasts was exposed. Waggling his tongue like a snake's tongue, he then licked the pointed nipple and the smooth area around it.

Sandra giggled to the touch of Bam's tongue on her skin. Bam looked up at her, flashing her, his smiling blue eyes. He laughed in his throat before he lunged forward to suck on her breast, tugging a little at the nipple with his teeth.

"Stop that!" She laughed with a slight gasp  
Bam lifted his head a little and then laid it back down on Sandra's breast, using it as a pillow. He then closed his eyes with a soft smile "I'm just going to rest my head here for a moment, is that ok?"  
"Bam Bam!" She playfully pushed him off of her

He laughed and then sat back up. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he looked up at her.

"Hi." She said before sitting down next to him  
"Hi Katie." He smiled back at her. He glanced at Sandra and then at Katie "Care to join us?"  
"With pleasure." She scooted closer to Bam and pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss

The three of them then began to make out together, even once they fell off of the couch and onto the floor. None of the other people in the room even noticed when they hit the floor. One girl's vibrating "bullet" got loose from her grip and landed on Bam's chest. He picked it up and smiled, letting it vibrate in his closed fist.

"Either of you girls want this bullet?" He asked  
"No need Bam Bam." Sandra said  
"You're more than enough for the both of us." Katie added

Bam reached up and kissed both of them and then tossed the still vibrating bullet across the room.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter three

**BONG!  
BONG!  
BONG!  
BONG!**

In the downstairs hallway, an old grandfather clock began to chime. The music was suddenly shut off and everyone became silent once they gathered in the large lounge area on the first floor. Hellen stood in the middle of the room with a few "newbies" standing by her side. She watched at the other guests stood along the walls of the room, creating a circle.

"Thank you, everyone, for entering the room in an orderly and timely fashion." Hellen said with a sly smile "Now my fine, esteemed guests, it is midnight, and you all know what that means." They gave a short applause for their answer "It's time to initiate… I mean welcome our new friends Sami, James and December. Bam Bam would you like to help me do the honors?"  
"Of course my dear." Bam said as he stepped into the center of the circle

Hellen whispered something to Bam as she handed him three silk scarves. The scarves were black with pink heartagrams printed on them.

"Now," Hellen said to the three newbies "I ask you to kneel in your places while Bam Bam helps you with your scarves."

The three newbies knelt and Bam began to wrap the scarves around their faces, covering their eyes. Hellen continued speaking to the others as Bam tied the scarves.

"These scarves, as you all know, are part of this ceremony." She looked down at the kneeling newbies "They're also yours to keep once the ceremony is over." She clapped her hands together and held them in front of her as she spoke "These scarves are a representation of the pure good, and love that we share for each other and our beloved band. And they're also quite fashionable, if I say so myself." She chuckled

Bam stood next to Hellen holding a large wooden paddle in his hand. The paddle was royal blue and had a small heartagram carved into the handle, and a silver heartagram painted on top of the smooth, flat surface.

"The heartagram symbol is quite special, and must be treated thusly. Now join me in the ceremonial prayer." She said to the others "The heartagram is powerful and will forever be my guiding light."  
"I will keep the heartagram power with me for the rest of my days." Everyone else, except the scared and confused newbies, chanted back  
"The heartagram is love, the heartagram is life." Hellen continued  
"I shall keep it with me always."  
"In my darkest hour, "Kill me" I cried."  
"And love said "No."."  
"Now newbies I ask you to move to all fours."

The three of them did what she said and Bam stood behind them with the paddle. Bam raised the paddle and everyone else clapped. Hellen raised her hand, signaling for them to stop.

"Bam Bam has in his hand, the ceremonial paddle." She bent down in front of the newbies "You know what paddles are used for, don't you?"  
The newbies began to shake in fear, knowing now what was going to come next.

Bam gripped the handle of the paddle and smiled broadly. Everyone else began to chant: "Spank! Spank! Spank!" over and over. Bam warmed up his swing for a second. He sung the paddle towards Sami's butt, stopping just inches before the paddle could make contact with it. He pulled the paddle back again and did the same for the next newbie in line, James. Everyone continued chanting, except for the shaking newbies. Bam swung that paddle one more time, just missing December's butt like he did before. He moved back behind Sami and swung the paddle one more time.

**WHACK!**

The sound of the paddle hitting the floor caused the three newbies to jump. Everyone else began to laugh, Bam and Hellen included. Hellen and Bam helped the three of them stand up and pulled their scarves down so they could see.

"You actually believed that I was going to hit you guys, didn't you?" Bam asked them while still laughing

The three of them laughed uneasily as they realized that they had been gotten good. Hellen hugged each of them and smiled.

"We'd never cause bodily harm to any one of our friends. Well unless we were in the Razorblade Romance or Ville Valo rooms. But that's just purely sexual of course." She smiled "Oh and that "prayer" we said was a bunch of bullshit we say for fun. This "ceremony" is all just a show to welcome new guests like you. Don't worry you haven't joined a weirdo cult or anything. Now go and enjoy the rest of the party and make new friends." She said as she escorted the three of them back to the rest of the guests "Thank you all for playing along, especially you, Bam Bam."  
"You're very welcome." Bam said, handing her the paddle.

The music was turned back on and the party continued.


	5. Chapter 4

chapter four

A few people, Bam included, were sitting in what was known as the Razorblade Romance room. The room was painted in different shades of red, and the lighting was red as well. The furniture was rounded, fluffy cushions covered in soft red suede. (In case you didn't notice, everything in this room was red.) Anyone who sat down on one of the cushions would sink way down into it, and would have to crawl out. Hanging on the walls were assorted handcuffs and whips ready to be played with.

One girl brought down a long, feathered stick whip. She plopped down on a cushion and crawled up to Bam with the whip.

"So Bam Bam. You seem to really be enjoying yourself tonight." She said as she tickled Bam's nose with the feathered end of the whip  
"Yeah I am." He smiled "Especially now."  
"Yeah?" She tickled his nose with the feather again and then ran the whip down his chest  
"Jessi… Jessica what are you doing?" he asked with a laugh in his voice  
"Shh…"

She used the whip to lift Bam's shirt up and then she ran the feather up and down Bam's chest and stomach. Bam twitched to the touch of the feather moving over his heartagram tattoo.

"Does that tickle Bam Bam?"  
"Yes!"  
"Well then I better try something else."

Jessica gave Bam a hard kiss before sitting up again. She held the whip firm in her hand and smacked it against Bam's bare chest.

"Ow!" She hit him with the whip, but a little harder "Ow! God Fucking Damn it!"  
"I'm sowwy Bam Bam." She replied in a cute little kid-like pouty voice "Would you like me to stop?"  
"No."  
"Well ok then!"

Jessica continued hitting Bam's chest with the whip, causing Bam to scream.

"Ow! Ow! Jessica! Jessica I love that! Ow! Ow! Keep going baby!"

She hit him a few more times before he sat up panting. He pulled his shirt back down and stared at her intensely as he breathed heavily. He then wrapped his arms around her and pushed her onto her back, planting passionate kisses on her. Slowly he moved his way down her body, until he reached the top of her long black skirt. Licking his lips he bit and tugged at the top pf the skirt, pulling it down inch by inch. Jessica giggled and squealed.

"Bam! Stop!"  
He looked up to her, raising an eyebrow "You're right. What's wrong with me? This is a skirt!" He flipped the skirt up with one swift move and then slid two fingers into her panties

As Bam began to finger her, Hellen and another girl came into the room carrying flute glasses of red wine. They handed the glasses to everyone and went over to a cushion. The other girl who walked in with Hellen hopped up onto the cushion that Bam and Jessica were lying on and smiled at them. She coolly handed one of the two glasses of wine to Bam.

"Here Bam Bam."  
Bam lifted his head and reached out with his free hand for the flute "Thank you so much Mere." He took a drink of the wine and smiled at her "Ooh that's good."  
Mere took a drink from her glass "So it is." She looked down at Jessica "So you enjoying yourself Jessi?" She smiled  
Jessica bit her lower lip, rolled her eyes back and let out a small moan.  
"I take that as a yes." Bam said before taking another drink of his wine "You can be next Mere, if you want."  
"Oh you sweet talker you." She said sarcastically

Bam leaned over and gave Mere a kiss and then finished his wine.

"Once again, thanks for the wine." He said with a smiled as he handed her his empty glass  
he looked forward and began to kiss Jessica like he did before. He then removed his fingers from inside of her panties. Jessica looked up at him with a satisfied grin.  
"Wow."  
"Yeah and to think… that was just my fingers."

Jessica sat up and looked at Mere "Red wine? Mere why didn't you bring me a glass?"  
"This was supposed to be for you. But you were busy so I drank it for you."  
"Gee thanks." Jessica rolled her eyes  
"You girls aren't going to fight, are you?"  
"Why Bammy?" They asked at the same time  
"You two are too cute. I just want to bite you both. So I will."

Bam pushed both girls over and began to playfully nibble on various parts of their bodies. The two girls squealed and giggled as bam moved over them, biting and kissing them. Hellen cleared her throat, causing the three of them to look up at her.

"You three play nice." She said as she tossed a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs to them  
"Thanks Hellen." Bam said, holding the handcuffs "We'll play nice. Won't we girls?"  
"Shut up Bam Bam." Mere pushed him over and straddled him

Jessica came around to the other side and sat just above his head. She began to run her hands through his hair as she and Mere stared down at him with matching smiles.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter five:

The party was winding down and a lot of the guests had gone home. Bam stood talking with a few people, while saying goodbye to others that were leaving. He spotted a couple girls part way across the room and decided to pay them a quick visit. They were two of the newbies from the ceremony that was held earlier that evening. They still had their scarves draped around their shoulders as they stood there in mid-conversation. Bam went right up behind both of them, gently pressing his lower region against one of the girls.  
"Nice scarves." He said with a lowered voice in their ears  
The two girls turned around to face him with matching nervous grins.

"Oh hey." One girl said  
"You're Bam Bam, right?"  
"Yes I am." Bam smiled "I like your scarves." He said as he ran his fingers over them 'I have one just like them at home."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah everyone gets a scarf at their first party. In fact I remember having that same paddle swung at my ass. You're lucky that you girls had me swinging that paddle. I got this big, scary guy who looked like he could just pick me up over his head and throw me through the nearest wall." He laughed "So refresh my memory, what are your names again?"  
"Well I'm Sami and this is…"  
"Let me guess… um… January? February? September?"  
"December."  
"That's right. I knew it was one of the months. So you girls having a good time here?"  
"Yeah it's been real fun."  
"It sure has."  
"Well that's good to know. It's always nice to see some fresh faces here, especially cute ones like you two have." He cupped a hand on a cheek on both girls' faces, causing them to blush "So… not that it matters much to me but… where's your other friend… um… James I think his name was?"  
"Him? Um…"  
"Well he wasn't one of our friends." Sami said  
"Yeah we didn't even know him."  
"Besides I think he left shortly after the "ceremony"."  
"Oh." Bam chuckled "Couldn't handle it after all? What a pussy!"  
"Yeah you can say that again."  
"You know, girls, there are less people here now so we would be able to find more places to sit down. What do you say that the three of us find a seat and talk some more? I'd really like to get to know you two better."  
"Ok!"  
"Yeah sure!"

Bam hooked his arms through both girls' arms and he walked them over to a small sofa. The three of them sat down and began to become engrossed in a deep, and somewhat flirty at points, conversation. The three of them had lost track of time as they talked. Sami checked her watch and suddenly sat up.

"Oh shit! December we better go! My mom would kill me if she found out that I was out this late!"  
December sat up "Yeah ok let's go then."  
"Do you really have to go now?" Bam asked with a pout  
"We're sorry Bam Bam."  
"It really has been nice talking to you."

Bam stood up and placed a hand around the waist of each girl.

"Well I'll walk you two over to the door then."  
They walked to the door and Bam gave them both a kiss on their neck.  
"So nice to meet you both. So… I'll see the two of you next month?"  
"Yeah of course!" Said Sami  
"We wouldn't miss it for the world." Added December  
The girls gave Bam a kiss on each cheek at the same time before stepping out the door. As Bam turned away from the door his eyes met with Sandra's eyes.  
"Oh hey!" He smiled "Haven't seen you in a while."  
"I know. We were both busy."  
"So we were."

Sandra wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him along, smooth kiss before pulling him along by the hand into another room.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter six

Her soft lips pressed smoothly against his and their mouths came open enough for their tongues to meet. He held her close to him as they stood there swaying, making their own rhythm to the music that was playing in the background. Gazing into her eyes, he smiled as he caught the heightened sparkle in them.

"Katie it's so nice to have you by yourself for once." He said softly with a slight grin  
"Funny, I was just thinking the exact same thing about you."

Bam gave her another kiss before he heard someone call his name. He looked over his shoulder to see whose voice it was.

"What do you want, Jord, I'm busy right now." He said before kissing Katie on the neck  
"We're going to play your favorite drinking game. Come on bring Katie over here too."  
Bam looked at Katie and then at Jord "If you insist." He laughed

Bam took Katie by the hand and walked her over to a group pf people and they all began to play a drinking game. After the game was over, it was time for the rest of the party guests to go home. Bam stood by the door saying goodbye to the people that were going out the door as if he was the party's host. He pulled Mere and Jessica aside as they came up to the door and gave them each a nice, long goodbye kiss.

"So nice to see you again." He said to each girl after kissing her, and before patting her on the butt and sending them on their way out the door

Once everyone else was out the door, Hellen brought over Bam's black sweatshirt and handed it to him, along with his sunglasses that he has carelessly left somewhere.

"So Bam Bam, did you really enjoy yourself tonight?"  
"Yeah, it was one of your best parties in a while."  
"It certainly seems that way." She smiled  
"You know, Hellen," He said as he pulled his sweatshirt on "It's dark out there and I'm going to have a lonely walk to my car."  
"Yeah? You inviting me to come along with you?"  
"If you want."  
"I guess I could go for a little walk."

They stepped out onto the porch and Hellen closed the door. Bam stepped down onto the bottom step and Hellen hopped up onto his shoulders. He moved quickly down the dark sidewalk with Hellen laughing on top of his shoulders, all the way to his parked car. His car was the only car parked in the parking lot when they reached it.

Bam bent down so Hellen could nicely slide down from his shoulders and then he unlocked his car.

"Ladies first." He said  
"Why Bam Bam, you chivalrous prince."

Hellen crawled into the car and Bam got in on the other side. The two of them became settled once the doors were closed and then they started talking. They became more and more relaxed and cozy as they conversed. Soon they had moved to a more comfortable, lazy position with Bam reclining and Hellen resting her head in Bam's lap.

"I saved the best for last." Bam smiled down at her as he ran his hand over her arm  
"What do you mean?"  
"You, I saved you for last. I've been meaning to spend this time with you alone for a while now, but I've never got a chance to do it until now."  
"Oh I see."  
"Too bad we don't get to see each other more than once a month. I'd really like for you to meet all of my friends."  
"Yeah that would be nice. Especially seeing each other out of our party clothes so to speak. I've heard some nice things about your other friends."  
"They haven't heard about you though. They don't even know that you exist. I know they'd like you though."  
"A lot of people do."  
"Of course Novak would be all over you as soon as you set foot in the door." He laughed and then went into the voice he uses when he makes fun of Novak "Hey babe, why don't you come up to my room and I can fuck you every which way but Sunday? Wait, do you skate? 'Cause I won't want to be with you if you do. I just want my women to just lie there and look good." They both laughed  
"Yeah… I really don't think he would be interested in me if we met."  
"What do you mean? You're beautiful and…"  
"He'd hang out with me, but other than that he wouldn't even notice me if I showed up in my every day clothes."  
"Don't put yourself down like that."  
"Bam Bam you've only seen me at these parties and I'm always wearing heavy makeup and some sort of costume like this." She tugged at her dress and sat up  
"Well I'm interested in you." He leaned in close to give her a kiss but she stretched her hand out in front of him to block him  
Her voice, when she spoke, was a little lower and a lot less feminine "Bam Bam I'm a transvestite."  
"Are you fucking serious?" Bam asked, his voice cracking  
"That's right baby. I can't believe you didn't know all ready."

Bam's mouth dropped open and he stared at the floor of the car. He was in a state of complete shock and felt utterly betrayed. He didn't look up once a kind hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Bam Bam relax. I really thought that you knew. I'm terribly sorry."

Bam tried to speak but nothing came out. He shook his head and felt like some one punched him in the stomach.

"I… I can't believe this… I…" He stammered a little on his words  
"Hellen" reached up and pulled his wig off, revealing short, dirty blonde hair. He then ran his hand through his hair to comb it out "Bam Bam I really am sorry that you had to find out this way."  
"After all these years that I've known you, you'd think that I'd catch on but… How could I not know?"  
"Hellen" shrugged his shoulders "I don't know. I actually just assumed that you figured it out like the rest of them did. But I guess I'm better at playing a woman than I thought. Must be the fact that I've always been small and had sort of feminine features. You… you ok Bam Bam?"  
Bam took a deep breath and let it out "Yeah… it's just a lot to take in right now."  
"Oh," He looked down "Then maybe I shouldn't tell you that quite a bit of us at these parties are transvestites as well."  
Bam looked up at him suddenly "Wh-what do you mean… who else is a…" He shook his head in disbelief "No maybe I don't want to know." He paused and looked at "Hellen" again in concern "Is… I mean Sandra isn't one is she?"  
"A transvestite? No."  
Bam sighed in relief "Good then she's a real woman then."  
"Well… let's just say "Sandra" became a real woman a couple years ago after the operation."

Bam choked a little bit. If he were drinking at that moment he would have done one hell of a spit take. He held his stomach suddenly having the feeling like he was going to be sick.

"Oh God… I… I can't believe all of this. It's… it's too much. I…" He closed his eyes and felt himself turning green. "Hellen" placed a hand on Bam's back for comfort and Bam tore open the car door.

After a minute or so of vomiting, Bam closed the car door and leaned his head back against the headrest of his seat. He closed his eyes tight, trying to forget everything that he was just told.

"Bam Bam are you going to be ok now?" Bam slowly nodded his head "Well if you don't mind, I'll just be going back to my house now. I really do feel bad for this, and I hope that we can still be friends."  
"Yeah fine… I… it'll take some time to get used to it. But um… I'll still be around here every month."  
"Ok then." "Hellen" picked up his wig and opened the car door. Before shutting it as he stood outside the car, he peeked his head back in and looked at bam "Please do feel better Bam Bam. I'll see you next month."  
"Yeah… next month. Maybe I'll be over this by then." He grinned weakly  
"Ok well… see you next time Bam Bam." He closed the door and began to walk away

Bam scooted over to the driver's seat and placed the key in the ignition. Before he started the car he tried to let all of the lies and deception wash over him. These parties were so dear to his heart, and even with the new found deceptions in his friends, he was still glad to keep this his dirty little secret.


End file.
